why being a bloke is great
18 years 2 months ago #305
by Andy
why being a bloke is great was created by Andy
before you say it should be in the joke forum...sod it..thought this one needs a smile Laughing
Your ar5e is never a factor in a job interview.
Your orga5m5 are real. Always.
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't give a rat's arse if someone notices your new haircut.
Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
Wrinkles add character.
A few well placed one night stands gain credibility, not leave you
tarnished.
You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch
adjustments.
People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything
different?"
You can throw a ball more than 5 feet.
One mood, ALL the damn time.
You can open all your own jars.
Dry cleaners and hairdressers don't rob you blind.
You can go to a public toilet without a support group.
You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be
your friend.
If you are 30 and single, nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don't have to clean your house if the meter reader is coming.
You can sit in silence watching a football game with your mate for
hours
without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little
gift.
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just
might become lifelong friends.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December
24th, in 45 minutes.
The world is your urinal
Your ar5e is never a factor in a job interview.
Your orga5m5 are real. Always.
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't give a rat's arse if someone notices your new haircut.
Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
Wrinkles add character.
A few well placed one night stands gain credibility, not leave you
tarnished.
You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch
adjustments.
People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything
different?"
You can throw a ball more than 5 feet.
One mood, ALL the damn time.
You can open all your own jars.
Dry cleaners and hairdressers don't rob you blind.
You can go to a public toilet without a support group.
You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be
your friend.
If you are 30 and single, nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don't have to clean your house if the meter reader is coming.
You can sit in silence watching a football game with your mate for
hours
without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little
gift.
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just
might become lifelong friends.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December
24th, in 45 minutes.
The world is your urinal
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18 years 2 months ago #868
by Bee
Replied by Bee on topic why being a bloke is great
<!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt="
" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> good ones
" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> good ones
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