Things to learn from porn

1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not
scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy f**ks.
11. People in the 70's couldn't f**k unless there was a wild guitar solo
in the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his
half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan 'OH YEAH' when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they 'high five' each other. (and the girl
isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes
the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of sh*t out of you if you shove your
cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by
giving her a gentle slap on the ass.
21. Nurses suck patient's cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend,
she'll only be momentarily pissed off before f**king both of you.
24. Women never have headaches.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind
her to 'suck it'
26. a**holes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all
parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants
and find a cock there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
30. When standing during a blow job, a man will always place one hand
firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on
his hip.
31. Pigtails = handlebars

seen this before

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lol old one again but still good

if only it were true hey